{"title":"Absurd \u0026 Self-Aware","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAny 2 for $75. Any 3 for $99.\u003c\/strong\u003e Free shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor a very particular sense of humour. Hand-drawn heavyweight cotton, printed to order in Australia.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"to-whom-god-giveth","title":"To Whom God Giveth","description":"One tiny ant, one giant hand, and the quiet dread of being small in a very large universe.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, relaxed unisex fit. Printed to order right here in Australia, made fresh for you and never sitting in a warehouse. Part of the Wearable Opinions collection.\n\nGrab any 2 for $75 with free shipping. Add a third for $99. Say it with a shirt.\u003ch4\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnisex fit, if between sizes, size down for fitted or up for relaxed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48982386180196,"sku":"17596428770008714165","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48982386245732,"sku":"67596322202285401324","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48982386311268,"sku":"83679716261981356215","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48982386376804,"sku":"22529181447879493646","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48982386442340,"sku":"16242044977046354193","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/7314833219523326813_2048.jpg?v=1786681877"},{"product_id":"honey-wheres-the-hot-sauce","title":"Honey, Where's the Hot Sauce?","description":"The great domestic emergency, drawn in full panic. Somewhere in that fridge, allegedly, is the hot sauce. The original Wearable Opinions hand-drawn scene.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, relaxed unisex fit. Printed to order in Australia. Grab any 2 for $75 with free shipping. Add a third for $99. Say it with a shirt.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48982540681316,"sku":"23876159510464145125","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48982540746852,"sku":"94911094777165538314","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48982540812388,"sku":"20911661882501666612","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48982540877924,"sku":"95950710037669388863","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48982540943460,"sku":"44820595094501838259","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/2152598133794730429_2048.jpg?v=1786681875"},{"product_id":"little-dancing-horses","title":"Little Dancing Horses","description":"\u003cp\u003eTwo horses. One dance. No further questions. The most wholesome shirt we make and a genuinely unhinged gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print that sits \u003cem\u003ein\u003c\/em\u003e the fabric, not on top of it. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48982867411044,"sku":"43906614468098457790","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48982867443812,"sku":"24842312505840989331","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48982867476580,"sku":"12642857252552332288","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48982867509348,"sku":"32377487193662828453","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48982867542116,"sku":"22394439282918763883","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/7827209210669139858_2048.jpg?v=1786599140"},{"product_id":"consider-the-lizard","title":"Consider the Lizard","description":"\u003cp\u003eConsider the lizard. He is not employed, he fears nothing, he answers to no one. A patron saint for anyone quietly doing less.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print that sits \u003cem\u003ein\u003c\/em\u003e the fabric, not on top of it. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48982868066404,"sku":"21619682664177515041","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48982868099172,"sku":"20059912757892517593","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48982868131940,"sku":"29887435627836196752","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48982868164708,"sku":"23087353963615850553","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48982868197476,"sku":"31755720022884358928","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/5251638986473293202_2048.jpg?v=1786599150"},{"product_id":"photosynthesising","title":"Photosynthesising","description":"Not sunbaking. Photosynthesising. A noble, plant-like pursuit that happens to look exactly like doing nothing.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990142267492,"sku":"30529304074684931828","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990142333028,"sku":"14491396738054961766","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990142398564,"sku":"10762668666885138820","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990142464100,"sku":"26292338366236194000","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990142529636,"sku":"22328060691809702152","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/3551091206864462410_2048.jpg?v=1786681871"},{"product_id":"self-care-is-just-damage-control-with-a-nicer-candle","title":"Self-Care Is Just Damage Control With a Nicer Candle","description":"Same spiral, better ambience. The scented candle is doing a lot of heavy lifting.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990142627940,"sku":"93556381409025360288","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990142693476,"sku":"22694926246468535277","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990142759012,"sku":"13155656794793428044","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990142824548,"sku":"33373475356286969679","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990142890084,"sku":"62532358745333047525","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/selfcare-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105816"},{"product_id":"i-regulated-my-nervous-system-so-i-could-ignore-you-calmly","title":"I Regulated My Nervous System So I Could Ignore You Calmly","description":"Inner peace, weaponised. Not ignoring you rudely, ignoring you serenely.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990144069732,"sku":"14971354362008010238","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990144135268,"sku":"31047583807563366493","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990144200804,"sku":"22322800851826426241","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990144266340,"sku":"24322050936624820853","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990144331876,"sku":"49837282467373472678","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/regulated-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105810"},{"product_id":"two-capybaras-no-notes","title":"Two Capybaras, No Notes","description":"The most relaxed animals on earth doing absolutely nothing, perfectly. Aspirational.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990147674212,"sku":"22257113628205091707","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990147739748,"sku":"14290549778971557184","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990147805284,"sku":"19148097175739294067","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990147870820,"sku":"30300468120349668222","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990147936356,"sku":"18532997740626406127","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/two-capybaras-no-notes.png?v=1787119679"},{"product_id":"blessed-are-the-mildly-inconvenienced","title":"Blessed Are the Mildly Inconvenienced","description":"Sainthood for the slightly put-out. Blessed are those whose train was four minutes late.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990148100196,"sku":"56071313163502063958","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990148165732,"sku":"13654003170237729614","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990148231268,"sku":"30698942182865090026","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990148296804,"sku":"64406776838419834466","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990148362340,"sku":"22816487840635317174","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/blessed-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105840"},{"product_id":"the-horse-knows-what-it-did","title":"The Horse Knows What It Did","description":"He knows. You know. Nobody's talking about it, and the horse will not be explaining himself.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990148821092,"sku":"18918931938655299098","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990148886628,"sku":"25112406191208544200","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990148952164,"sku":"62386451532272933068","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990149017700,"sku":"16405252920483909688","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990149083236,"sku":"29299661714189453968","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/16466199196011969901_2048.jpg?v=1786681848"},{"product_id":"not-now-im-haunted","title":"Not Now, I'm Haunted","description":"Can't come to the phone, there's a situation. A small, clingy, spectral situation.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990150262884,"sku":"20657952957723831496","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990150328420,"sku":"89082134467054474760","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990150393956,"sku":"11732167773771651788","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990150459492,"sku":"23049969725712157508","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990150525028,"sku":"21763293892696589336","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/1533123627504557015_2048.jpg?v=1786681846"},{"product_id":"frog-of-low-expectations","title":"Frog of Low Expectations","description":"Expecting nothing, disappointed by less. The frog has made peace with it.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990150656100,"sku":"92791951051559148191","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990150721636,"sku":"12956067609180816820","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990150787172,"sku":"14200313022782697917","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990150852708,"sku":"21856434594909988005","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990150918244,"sku":"22936092651252968106","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/14428911610611371340_2048.jpg?v=1786681844"},{"product_id":"the-seagull-has-a-plan","title":"The Seagull Has a Plan","description":"He has a plan. The plan is your chips. There is no negotiating with the seagull.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990152163428,"sku":"31625719794265959412","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990152228964,"sku":"23311491695067110027","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990152294500,"sku":"15393617418186451343","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990152360036,"sku":"24887918316803128274","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990152425572,"sku":"14161819995578245115","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/10567684825705530329_2048.jpg?v=1786681842"},{"product_id":"it-just-sounds-warmer-okay","title":"It Just Sounds Warmer, Okay","description":"For the man who will explain the difference whether you asked or not.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990152589412,"sku":"13349633329239122029","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990152654948,"sku":"16734589123824312936","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990152720484,"sku":"15993106411653659480","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990152786020,"sku":"19967684030074252422","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990152851556,"sku":"76690324459104233875","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/12381017219546532902_2048.jpg?v=1786681840"},{"product_id":"i-can-taste-the-supermarket-beans","title":"I Can Taste the Supermarket Beans","description":"He can taste the difference and he needs you to know he can.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990152949860,"sku":"33469631422494097196","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990153015396,"sku":"20315399980170410527","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990153080932,"sku":"56149672907833987043","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990153146468,"sku":"32290100075877632344","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990153212004,"sku":"51727586776540004212","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/15987545031462397151_2048.jpg?v=1786681838"},{"product_id":"i-answer-to-a-higher-pigeon","title":"I Answer to a Higher Pigeon","description":"Kings come and go. The pigeon remains, and the pigeon has notes.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990153539684,"sku":"16005178571445196471","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990153605220,"sku":"25385217051956728207","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990153670756,"sku":"15071580139613968535","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990153736292,"sku":"19639926031952264082","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990153801828,"sku":"11357741306192128957","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/8959288174371528976_2048.jpg?v=1786681235"},{"product_id":"strong-opinions-about-lorikeets","title":"Strong Opinions About Lorikeets","description":"For the backyard birdwatcher who will tell you exactly why the lorikeets are out of order lately.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990153900132,"sku":"25595544153250881607","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990153965668,"sku":"27705197757117383062","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990154031204,"sku":"25569482383882802922","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990154096740,"sku":"19109263329957468974","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990154162276,"sku":"21289815828836752117","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/5578092865956464526_2048.jpg?v=1786681230"},{"product_id":"and-on-the-eighth-day-he-said-nah","title":"And On the Eighth Day, He Said Nah","description":"Six days of creation, one of rest, and on the eighth He looked at Monday and tapped out.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990154260580,"sku":"15658674957455781127","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990154326116,"sku":"31632613183665888803","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990154391652,"sku":"13615627602137762436","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990154457188,"sku":"10208846536379596394","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990154522724,"sku":"12478976085903563355","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/5373595576138901159_2048.jpg?v=1786681225"},{"product_id":"emotionally-available-business-hours-only","title":"Emotionally Available (Business Hours Only)","description":"Fully present, deeply caring, closed weekends. After 5pm your feelings go to voicemail.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990155767908,"sku":"13046430605758552379","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990155833444,"sku":"26778311358211065583","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990155898980,"sku":"12500142988274371576","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990155964516,"sku":"12132734066268457340","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990156030052,"sku":"19128968254449708436","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/emoavail-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105828"},{"product_id":"per-my-last-email-please","title":"Per My Last Email, Please","description":"The most passive-aggressive five words in the language, worn with pride.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990156128356,"sku":"17842012984772611355","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990156193892,"sku":"16253611594392144506","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990156259428,"sku":"14334288197020711365","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990156324964,"sku":"29681346573919608552","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990156390500,"sku":"27837587284211001778","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/email-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105822"},{"product_id":"in-no-rush-to-be-perceived","title":"In No Rush to Be Perceived","description":"The snail arrives precisely when it means to. Perception can wait.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990159339620,"sku":"16300200393416339683","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990159405156,"sku":"21904810842304607444","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990159470692,"sku":"24608665135893263376","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990159536228,"sku":"28049594764205774279","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990159601764,"sku":"68916838413261022730","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/norush-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105846"},{"product_id":"plans-cancelled-best-news-all-week","title":"Plans Cancelled. Best News All Week.","description":"The purest joy known to the socially exhausted.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990182047844,"sku":"14324576416962419678","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990182113380,"sku":"33528199968369790995","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990182178916,"sku":"31142569441743060923","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990182244452,"sku":"14496961426198548981","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990182309988,"sku":"43988870707467979097","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/399114aa50de99ce7444b0738d9cc014.jpg?v=1787102994"},{"product_id":"the-goose-remembers","title":"The Goose Remembers","description":"The goose has a long memory and a short temper. You will remember the goose too, eventually.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990184276068,"sku":"34003979805534762708","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990184341604,"sku":"81131404868958580484","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990184407140,"sku":"25897197496497245932","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990184472676,"sku":"20497158000111872632","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990184538212,"sku":"25464631334156124722","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/the-goose-remembers.png?v=1787119689"},{"product_id":"emotional-support-crow","title":"Emotional Support Crow","description":"Feathered, mildly menacing, always there when you need it. Therapy is expensive and the crow works for chips.\n\nHeavyweight premium cotton, soft direct-to-garment print. Relaxed unisex fit, printed to order in Australia. Any 2 for $75 with free shipping, add a third for $99.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48990184636516,"sku":"22724305031995185612","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48990184702052,"sku":"18586622030059150721","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48990184767588,"sku":"35685921909953996007","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48990184833124,"sku":"26428652527296577694","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48990184898660,"sku":"22827010326259141959","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/crow-tile-crop.jpg?v=1787105804"},{"product_id":"god-needs-a-better-microphone","title":"God Needs a Better Microphone","description":"Absurdist mock-scripture. Six days of creation and still working with gear from the Old Testament. Draft, awaiting approval.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":48991690883172,"sku":"19934956578092820877","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":48991690915940,"sku":"57967275953717323384","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48991690948708,"sku":"32964271022416776021","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48991690981476,"sku":"16217551366791433406","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48991691014244,"sku":"32209006599322179264","price":44.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/files\/17692201009839156231_2048.jpg?v=1786656354"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/4298\/3524\/collections\/lane-goose.png?v=1786663593","url":"https:\/\/wearableopinions.com\/collections\/absurd-self-aware.oembed","provider":"Wearable Opinions","version":"1.0","type":"link"}